Humility is the antidote to shame
Our modern society hinges on a cycle of shame and guilt much more than we realise. I took a sociology class a few years ago that told us, as much as we act like capitalism is the only ‘successful’ model of society, it has only succeeded in a handful of countries it has been set up in. And, when investigated, the common cultural denominator between those successful countries was their deep rooted belief that rest was inherently shameful. We have been tricked into making our goal in life to line the pockets of people we have never met and to sacrifice our youth for progress that may never reach us— for fear that if we don’t we have failed.
*We fear we may never reach our full potential.
*We fear we haven’t done enough.
*We fear our helplessness is our own faults.
This fear creates shame deep in the depths of our subconscious, and creates a sense of urgency that feeds the capitalist machine.
Some of us deal with this shame by diving into our work and chasing success in the material world. While some of us push the shame down with anger— we get angry at the system and the world for putting these expectations in the first place, we scream at the top of our lungs that we feel unsafe, that we shouldn’t need to be here, that we didn’t ask to be here.
Both manifestations are still severe symptoms of our own shame. Whether we denounce the pressure of society vocally or not, the presence of urgency, of anger and of frustration shows that we have let shame take root in our hearts.
The human existence is one that begs to be powerful. We are full of hubris and ego. That’s why the pain of shame is so great. It’s because we wish so badly for our nature to be perfect, benevolent and astounding. We want to call down judgement on the ‘bad’ parts of ourselves, on the parts of us that want rest and to be supported. The parts of us that don’t fit into our society’s ideal of a ‘hard-worker’.
But nature isn’t perfect. It is raw, dirty and messy. It is complex. And as dirty, uncontrollable and uncomfortable nature can sometimes be, it is beautiful and alluring.
Just like you.
You are a complex human being with depth and complexity that could fill oceans, and sometimes that means you are messy, ugly and uncomfortable. Because only then can you be a metaphor for beauty.
If you are one of those people who feels acutely aware of what they are going through, but stills feel stuck where they are, it is time for you to stop asking yourself to be better, but to love yourself where you are at. Move forward in your healing journey not by feeling shame of what you’ve done in the past, or shame for who you are now, but by radically accepting all aspects of yourself. Allow yourself to exist! You do not need to be above nature, you need to accept your nature.
To heal your wounds, you must be humble. You have to know that it isn’t that you aren’t ugly, it is that your ugliness is lovable. Your ugliness is human. Your ugliness is what fuels your beauty. The ugliness of this world serves a purpose. Only then will you let go of your anger to the rest of this ugly world and feel free to to create your own reality of happiness and peace not in spite but despite the pressures and pain of our society.
You have to forgive them, they (you) are only human after all.
Enjoyed this? Subscribe to the newsletter to get me in your inbox once a week and get updated when I make new videos/blogs!
Also, *consider buying me a coffee — it really helps me as a small creator.
